Darling Readers,

Before you start a letter in the future with “Dear” anybody, you should be aware of a few common synonyms that might be unwittingly substituted for the word by your reader, assuming those words to be interchangeable since they are synonyms.  Whenever anyone addresses a letter to me in that fashion I immediately start subbing in synonyms at random for common words throughout the piece just to get a little broader meaning out of the message.  It makes the letter that much more personal/startling/confusing; just the way I like it.

You may have noticed a recent lack of holiday specific material.  That is the way this comic rolls.  In my real life I may celebrate a holiday while as a comic writer I may completely ignore it.  However, don’t be surprised if you see Thanksgiving material in June or Easter stuff in October.  Valentine’s day may pop up any time of the year in the schtick world.

If anybody can figure out what this sentence is going to say before I finish writing it next time I’ll…