I think my eyes might have perfect vision.
Like maybe when I was 11 my nose filed a complaint against my eyes for going cross-eyed or something. There is a small chance that my eyes are vindictive pains in the butt. I mean, I think they might be playing the long con on me just to get back at my nose for something. You know, make it wear glasses.
Some mornings after a good sleep I wake up and go about my normal business. Then like 45 minutes later I’ll all of a sudden realize I’m not wearing my glasses and my vision…goes blurry. At least I suspect it just went blurry. It’s hard to know for sure but I feel like I wasn’t seeing blurry earlier. Like my eyes also had such a good sleep that they forgot they were long conning my nose and just saw normal, like they do. And then…
“Uh, Freddie.” (I think my eyes call each other Freddie and Eddie) “Don’t look…I think we’ve been doing 20/20.”
“Oh…oh…ok. Crap. Umm, no sudden movements. I’ll count to three. On three, fade, k. 1…2…3…” …and, I remember I’m not wearing glasses.
I’m pretty sure that’s how it is going down, like 51% to 95% sure. I haven’t actually caught them in the act yet. Crafty little devils, my eyes.
To good vision, a nose without glasses marks, and long life.