58. The Aryan Race III

Related Comics: Crap Theory, The Aryan Race I, The Aryan Race II

Eye contact and, if I like you, perhaps a slight nod,

Apparently very few of you are on Twitter.  You are to be commended for this, I think.  I currently have 4 followers.  This is what you will be missing out on however.  I plan to very slowly write a novel and to very slowly tweet it.  Slowly, I say, so as to not irritate any of my followers by overloading their tweet stream or whatever it is called. I don’t know the title of the novel yet. I’ll figure that out eventually as the story unfolds I suppose.  Working title is #Pazint.  Here is how it starts:

Time ticked by.  The leaf to the left lifted lazily into the air. Pazint trembled imperceptibly.  Her sense of jrift screamed that it was too late and she loved it.

If you’ll excuse me for a moment I’m going to go tweet that right now…

That took two tweets.  Crazy.  I have a bit of an idea what the story is about but not enough to pass for an outline that any english teacher would accept.  We’ll see where it goes.  Who is Pazint?  What is jrift?  What will happen next?  Oh my goodness, this is so exciting.

Its a little out of date already but I have a bonus Halloween costume idea for you.  Next year find someone who is not invited to your Halloween costume party and who is going to another Halloween costume party that you are not invited to.  Go to each other’s Halloween costume party and claim to be the other person in costume as you.  Afterward, please tell me all about it.

Exit without so much as a goodbye (sometimes I do that),


57. The Aryan Race II

Related Comics: Crap Theory, The Aryan Race I, The Aryan Race III


Ever heard of Kiprotich? Abraham Kiprotich of France didn’t finish the London 2012 Olympic Marathon. Poor guy. Wilson Kiprotich of Kenya was favoured to win but slipped to third. Bronze medals are clearly underappreciated. He seemed pretty disappointed. Poor guy. Stephen Kiprotich of Uganda came out of nowhere to win the gold medal. Those puppies are clearly overappreciated. How about those Kiprotiches, eh?

What is a gold medal worth?  Does it mean that you are the best in the world?  No.  If a scientist were trying to determine what the best of something was in the world the one thing that they would not do is run one test and call it a day.  Jocks love that kind of thing though.  They love to call themselves the best in the world when actually it is quite possible that they are only a statistical anomoly.  Just to be sure, they should run the marathon 10 times and then we’d know that the guy that won it 7 times is probably the best in the world with a 95% confidence level, or something like that.  That is what the medal would say, “95% likely to be GOLD!” (Don’t check my work.  I didn’t actually calculate anything.)  Sure, the Olympics would take all year but I think it would be worth it.

Closed for the day,


The Schtick Comic #54 – The Aryan Race I

Related Comics: Crap Theory, The Aryan Race II, The Aryan Race III

Wave from a ways away,

How’s it going?  Honestly now.  Don’t tell me you’re doing well.  I never believe that.  I assume things are going really really well and you just don’t want to tell me about it because you’re worried I’ll be jealous or something.  I’ve gotta run though so maybe save it for next time.  Before I go, I just wanted to say, if this comic doesn’t make a lot of sense to you, it might help to check out comic #53.  It isn’t funny.  I hope that doesn’t bother you.

See ya,


The Schtick Comic #53 – Crap Theory

Related Comics: The Aryan Race I, The Aryan Race II, The Aryan Race III


Awkward.  For me anyway.

People I’m most comfortable hugging in order of comfort level: my wife…actually I probably shouldn’t make this list.  I might offend somebody.  Point being, I’m uncomfortable hugging most people.  I will though.  If you ever need a hug just come see me and I will be happy to provide one short awkward hug.  Hopefully that will make you feel better but I don’t make any guarantees.

You may have noticed that today’s comic isn’t funny.  It got me thinking though.  The Nazis felt that they were superior to other humans.  What logic lead them to attempt to destroy these other humans and why didn’t it apply to all genetically inferior entities, such as donkeys for instance?  I will be exploring this topic further.

Until next time,

Crap Theorist